plz talk dirty to me
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
