im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
