do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
where are you?
Hypothermia
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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