last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
