We won't sleep together?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize