looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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