Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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