I need help removing her.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
