just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
