When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
