I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
