So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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