How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
