I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
