Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
