When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
