i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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