We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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