i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
