god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
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