i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
