I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
