So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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