I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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