if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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