just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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