she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
