if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
