If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
