hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
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I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
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They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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