never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
