Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
