I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
