So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
