He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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