office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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