I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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