Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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