A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
