well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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