I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
