You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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