And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
