Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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