I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
