I didn't shave. On purpose
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That reminds me...we need to get swords
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
