I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
