i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
