2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize
