its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
