I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
