ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i drank out of a bidet.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
