We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
