my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
