5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
