Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
