I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
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they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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