I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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