Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
