SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize